"How To" In Life

What is Important in Making Life or Career Decisions?

2010-10-13T09:10:00.000-06:00

Let’s go beyond, is the decision right or wrong (for me), or there is only one answer. We need to look at an action oriented process that takes in the many facets of our lives. We need to look at our interests, desires, values, identity, preferences, experiences, responsibilities and goals for our lives. Our dislikes are important also. Questions of meaning and purpose may need to be considered. We want to look at patterns not pinpoint a single possibility. This is about our whole life and we want to look at all that is part of us together.

Tools like the Pillars of a Balance Life, Wheel of Life or the Circle of Human Needs are ways to look at the many faces of your life. Where are you currently at – professionally (career), physically, philosophically (spiritually), financially, socially, emotionally, with regard to relationships, play (fun), creativity, learning (growth), security, and fulfillment? Rate each area on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being your ideal experience. How would you like to change the balance of the wheel? What needs to be the current focus for where you are at on you life journey?

Now look at the roles you are in, day in and day out: student, sibling, child, parent, worker, co-worker, supervisor, partner, friend, teacher, business owner, artist, etc. How much time do you spend each day in each role? What are the activities that you are doing in each of these roles? Is that how you want to spend your time? Which activities would you like to change? What role, at this moment in life, is the one you would like to blossom? How can you shift the activities, spend the time where you want to be, meet your desires and your responsibilities (and let others meet their responsibilities)?

With what you know now about yourself and the world around you what is a description of your ideal life? Where do you see yourself living and working? Describe the home and work space in detail physically and what you are doing? Who are you with? What does it feel like? What are you enjoying, accomplishing? What is important that surrounds you? This ideal needs to be described in detail and with feeling. Now to make that ideal real what would have to happen, be obtained right before? Work yourself backwards of what is just before each step to point of what you could or need to do today to move toward that ideal. Be sure to translate these steps to a timeline. Monitor your progress. Ask for help. Discover alternatives for accomplishing each step. Bring some one with you on the adventure – keep people you can help and that can help you.

Life is a journey with many adventures. You can map it all out and you can explore side trips to learn or for fun. Know there are always options and it is your decision.

Dragons and Treasures – Discover Yours

2010-07-17T19:57:00.000-06:00

What are your dragons (fears, rejections, denials)? What traps do they set? What treasures do they have for you to experience? Dragons of the east and west traditions are fearsome, destructive, wise, magical. The Transforming Dragons Deck by Sonia Café has sixty four different dragons with their traps and their treasures. Each of us has our own dragons hidden within. We have feelings, beliefs, experiences we hide, bury, reject, avoid or ignore. We do not want to see ourselves with those characteristics. Or, we decide it is not our fault we are that way. It is the result of so and so, the environment we were brought up in or live in, or….. So we deny that part of our self that we and/or others do not like. To transform the dragon and to receive the gifts the dragon guards we first must gain awareness of our selves. The inner journey has bright spots and dark spots. The dragon guards a gate, an opening, with the treasure out of sight. Knowing what the dragon represents you can gain the knowledge of what the treasure offers. Transforming the dragon can take many forms – observing, fighting, pacifying, dancing, accepting – after all it is part of us.

Let’s take a look at a dragon. The names (and if you saw the pictures) are from the child – gibberish names and fun, imaginative pictures. The dragon we are looking at is Jarv. Jarv represents Pressure.
Sonia Café brief description is: The dragon is a specialist in “pushing his own way” to make things happen oppressively. He will do anything he can to anticipate deadlines, hasten the cycles, and alter the natural rhythm of things. Jarv’s most refined form of pressure has vampiric characteristics because he loves to steal the freshness and the novelty of anything that has been born. He only gives a break in pressure after having caused some kind of explosion.
His favorite Affirmation: “The more difficult, the more complicated, the more pressure there is, the better!”
Dragonic Traps: -Pressing for stress; - Stressing to make sickness; - Exploding or imploding from pressure.
The Treasure: - You can have an extraordinary capacity for keeping calm in any kind of situation.   – You can have an amazing ability to focus attention on doing now what is humanly possible. – You can learn to do one thing at a time, everything in the right time, with the best quality.
Transforming Jarv --- Allow things to come to birth organically, in the right time, in the rhythms of the Soul.

I take a project – like a bull by its horns. I will bull doze ahead. I will make checklists and contacts. I set time tables. I am impatient. I want the results yesterday, when it is a project of my own. I work with others for joint projects, but still I am impatient when others do not keep pace. My own projects can become oppressive and I will implode. Many times with self destruction of --- I am not worthy, it does not matter any way, why try so hard- won’t accomplish it any how, or ….. So then comes the time to breathe. Deep breaths in and out. Clear the head and the heart. Take the project step by step. Trust in your ability, your connection, and your core desire. Follow through. Stay clear. Be honest with yourself and with others. Be open to the timing and the process. Experience the journey with appreciation. Know yourself. Realize change is a consistent variable and flow with it. Take your next step with open mind and an open heart. Live your dream.

We can explore our dragon(s) – lizards of the earth, swimmers of the sea, greatness flying in the air, and masters of fire.

A Journal of Mandalas

2010-07-11T09:19:00.000-06:00

First – a Journal – a bridge into first our own humanity, and then our own spirituality. The road stretches our before us, and our ultimate task is the journey. …an art form in words.

Second – a Mandala – a circle art using a variety of mediums through the ages, a universal activity, self-integrating ritual. Healing Mandalas are created as an integrative art form assisting individuals in their search for the inner self.

I have written in a journal for years to ask myself questions, trying to find answers, ranting and raving for whatever is happening at the moment, saying thank you for all things in my life, jumping for joy because of that little secret. There are times I am without words and still have questions. Pictures – visual images is our first language. Thus to connect with our inner knowledge can be quite an experience in the form of pictures. Utilizing the circle art of the Mandala is setting the experience in a safe and sacred environment. I have a scrap book (the journal) of my Mandalas. However, because they are important to me and colorful art I have also framed several of them and have them on display for me to see regularly (and sometimes in special places like my therapy office for others to reflect upon). Each Mandala has a date and the question posed with the picture – the visual art as the answer. Sometimes I can translate into words, other times the visual is very much the answer with no words.

The method I used is based on Judith Cornell’s technique of drawing with a white pencil on black paper creating a sense of light emanating from the paper. I draw a circle as big as the paper will hold (so how big the circle is depends on the size of the black piece of paper). Then I think about: what is it that is pertinent at the moment; what am I struggling with; what is unknown mystery I want a glimpse of; what is that elusive feeling I am experiencing connected to – or some other aspect. I develop the question I want to pose. I breathe deeply several times, close my eyes, empty my mind and let the picture begin to come to mind. You note I said begin to come to mind. For some the picture comes in clear and vivid with all details right off the bat; for others there is a blurry outline, a fuzzy image. Start the drawing with the white pencil on the black paper within the white lined circle. The surprise is as you begin to draw the image clarifies and more details come. You have the basic drawing with shading in white. Now take a moment of quiet and see it in Technicolor! Add the colors with various shades to your Mandala. Take your time or color with a furry. See your living visual answer in front of you. Words are not necessary. Words may come and can be noted on the back of the drawing also. The visual result is the answer and connects self to Self. Enjoy!

Emotional Ruts and Flower Essences

2010-07-05T14:16:00.001-06:00

I’ve got a feeling. That’s a line of a chorus of a song that continues – I’ve got a feeling before the day ends I’ll learn a new song and make a new friend.

If every day was like that day, I could handle the rut. However, sometimes I am caught up in anger or grief or self-loathing or self-doubt or……. And it does not seem anything I do can get me out of the rut. Many times I don’t even recognize I’m in a rut. I’m just making it through the day. I’m uncomfortable, dissatisfied, disgusted with myself, depressed, frustrated – whatever and no energy to do anything about it.

I know I don’t want to continue feeling whatever I am feeling. After all it is not fun. So what to do?

The first step is to figure out what I am feeling. We are kind of like a working paint palate with all the colors on the palate and then different blends for the current experience. We need to recognize the dominant color at this moment – the dominant feeling.

Let’s say it’s anger. I am pissed off at the world. It doesn’t matter who says what or does what, it makes be angry and I spout off at them. I need to be a little more definitive about my anger. Where is the anger coming from? Well maybe that is too much work and I don’t want to go there. What are the characteristics of my anger? Is the anger repressed? Is it just because I’m emotionally upset about a specific incident? Had it been around for a long time and isn’t even relevant to today? Am I hypersensitive? Am I fearful of feeling anger? Does it usually come out in verbal abuse?

The characteristic of the anger and the connection it has to the blend of feelings I am experiencing leads to the identification of a specific Flower Essence that can assist with the release of the anger. It is a release from being stuck in the anger. The anger can have an appropriate reference point and if I am not stuck in it then I will experience the anger, respond to the stimulus that initiated the anger (know what pissed me off) and can move on – make a conscious choice of how to respond to what sparked my anger.

Flower Essences are subtle liquid extracts prepared from a sun infusion of flowers at their peak bloom in water. They function from an energetic perspective versus a chemical perspective. Generally they are taken in oral form. They address issues of emotional well-being, soul development, and mind-body health.

Flower Essences help dislodge the rubbish that is damning up the flow. With the release of the rubbish, emotions can be experienced as a flow, moving on. Thus, we are prepared for the next experience of the moment – joy, sadness, delight, sorrow, pleasure, anger, whatever it may be. Bringing us to a point of balance and health. It is a point, not a status, as life continues to move with a mirage of experiences and inputs. We want to stay in motion to experience balance points more frequently.

Pick a Card, Any Card

2010-02-01T19:49:00.001-07:00

The tarot is a collection of 78 pictures presented in the form of a deck of cards. It is divided into three sections: the Major Arcana, The Minor Arcana, and the Court Cards…. The tarot is a picture compilation of universal imagery and symbology. It is a collection of symbols that crosses all boundaries of culture, time and space. … Another factor about the tarot is that the Minor Arcana and Court Cards are basically the same as the modern deck of regular playing cards…. It is now generally accepted that both the tarot and playing cards, each in their own fashion, are representations of archetypes…. The Court cards are pictures of the sixteen different personality types (like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). …… from Tarot Dictionary and Compendium by Jana Riley

So pick a card ….As the person picking a card – a usual starting point is to pick a court card – King, Queen, Prince/Princess (Jack). This is a card to represent the individual – the point of view for the rest of the story – reading.

I picked the card for the significator – to represent me as I tell this story. There are many kinds of tarot decks and books. I have chosen the Mother Peace deck by Vicki Noble. The card I drew as I shuffled the Court Cards is Priestess (Queen) of Swords.

…..The Priestesses… represent administrative abilities, a sense of the sacred, and the authoritative presence of a Mother. In their own homes, mothers are Queens and Priestesses in their work. They rule from the heart. …..

The Priestess of Swords (Queen of Spades) represents the mind at work, a channeling of wisdom. Her familiar is the Snowy Owl. ……Representing the critical mind, she is at once detached and stern, reasonable, clear-headed. …She is now taking time out to think and reflect, to belong, to herself alone (a widow or separated woman). ……. She represents astrology and intuitive knowledge. On another level, she represents science – systemized knowledge……..The Priestess of Swords might be a writer; she is certainly a thinker. She channels thought, letting it flow through her like water or light. ……. The owl can be seen as her thought taking flight…… The nocturnal owl suggests the wisdom of the dream world and the collective unconscious……. The owl symbolized healing power as well as the ability to fight for one’s life when necessary……. The Priestess of Swords is an austere personality, uncompromising and somewhat formidable. She may represent a strict teacher or older woman role-model, a disciplinarian or authority figure of some kind. But ….. the pink color…. speaks of the subtle warmth of her heart, …. Distant from the emotions, she is not cut off but simply reserved….. release of ideas into form, the opening out of the mind from narrow interests to broader, more inclusive concerns. She has a quiet psychic sense that allows her to know the thoughts of everyone around her, even on a global level. Therefore she is able to imagine solutions to world problems…. From Mother Peace by Vicki Noble

A key is that we each have a part of all the personality types and archetypes within us. There are dominant types for each of us, just like being dominantly left or right handed.

As I reflect on this card – this synopsis of a personality type – what does it say about past and present actions, stories of me, and my life? Let’s take a look.

When I worked for Alternative Youth Adventures (an outdoor therapeutic program for teens) I would go into the field – hike in a few miles, change into a costume as a Swami or a Wizard and then enter the group. Needless to say with costume, the initial response by the teens was ‘who is that crazy old woman?’ I had there attention. They were focused on me. We would set in a circle and I would pass around the tarot deck and ask them to pick a card – either looking at the cards or pick one blindly – their choice. We used all 78 cards thus the dynamics represented were more than the personality types. It included the practical applications of the traits in the number cards and global characteristics of the Major Arcana. We looked at the cards from the question – ‘What role do you have in this group?’ First each youth described what they saw in the card, what they liked or disliked about the picture on the card. Then we read excerpts from the descriptions of the card by various authors. Next we discussed as a group how that matched what each individual saw about that particular youth. This created different insights, confirmations, questions, and made them think about their role and interactions with each other. The experience was lots of fun and very productive.

The Priestess/Queen of Swords represents healing – fighting for life as necessary. My story includes years as a counselor and a Jin Shin Acupressurist. I have helped many people with Pain Management. I teach individuals tools to use to manage their pain versus having the pain manage them. We looked at physical, emotional and spiritual healing. We identified what worked for them and set up a plan for them to implement to live their lives to the fullest even with pain, illness, or disability. We integrated allopathic and alternative medicine to create the best alternative for each individual. This meant understanding who each individual is and their dominant characteristics and needs. We matched their “card”.

Healing has been a key focus within my story. I organized and established the Academy of Healing Arts with a group of people. We collaborated on our expertise to make the school happen. It primarily had a program for massage therapist and then community classes in the healing arts. Also, I helped establish a Whole Life Network Healing Arts Health Fair. The purpose was to expand people’s awareness so that they could make choices for their lives.

A thinker – ideas flowing through my mind, is reflected in the card. I see problems, situations, and people and develop solutions, alternatives. The purpose is to develop individuals’ and groups’ potential.

I am a separated woman – having experienced a divorce – the loss of the family unit – alone. Yes, I have family, two children, 6 siblings (one gone, one unknown), mother and extended family, yet alone.

I experience many emotions daily. I express the emotions less frequently. In my pursuit of helping people – I remain detached, but caring. I need to give individuals tools and choices to allow them to make things happen in their own life.

Intuitive knowledge for me is part of the way I interact with people and keying into factors to increase their awareness. It is part of how I make decisions.

Science is the facts from searching the unknown. I pursued a micro-biology degree. I have the privilege of coaching several youth science teams – Invent America, Odyssey of the Mind, Science fairs, and studies of the research of the healing arts.

Science is the known that is defined. Magic is the mystery of the unknown that is only understood intuitively until the broadened knowledge becomes known.

Pick a card, any card. As we reflect on the card we have drawn and it’s characteristics we reflect on who we are, where we have been and who we can become. Picking a card from the tarot or a deck of playing cards is a process in intuitive thinking, self-exploration, a discovery and a development of self. And it is just plain fun playing scientist with the unknown being you!

Strut Your Stuff - The Basic Premise

2010-01-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

STRUT YOUR STUFF; YOU ARE A GENIUS.

What is your Genius?
We are looking at the core of your potential and resources; the unique special quality that is you. Yes, we are looking at what makes you different. This includes: different intelligences (music, language, visual, body, logic, social, self, naturalist, and existential), talents, strengths, passions, abilities, desires and curiosity. We are looking at what you can do and who you are.

Why Bother?
Knowing yourself and expressing yourself is important part of your life’s journey – experiences. The unique gifts you have contribute to your development and to the world around you. Lie a snowflake you are a one time happening. To strut your stuff is a responsibility to you and the world.

YOU ARE A GENIUS AND DON’T KNOW IT!

Each of us is unique and special. We have things we can do well; things we are very interested in; things that have caught your attention; and things you dream of. These are all indicators of your genius.

Interest tests are a way to find a hint at your job interests. Looking back at things you really enjoyed as a child hint at what is special for you. People you admire, see as mentors or heroes also give you a clue of your genius.

Once you identify the various things that make up your genius then you can pursue them, develop them, and enjoy yourself.

Your genius is a key aspect of yourself to recognize, acknowledge, and utilize. The discovery is an inner journey. Your genes and inborn talents are a foundation. Your family, your community, your culture contribute to developing your genius. Expression of your genius is also related to timing, places, and experiences. Some of these just are, and some of theses you can effect.

Find your genius. Acknowledge your genius. Strut your stuff.

YOU’RE A GENIUS AND WON’T SHOW IT!

Being special make you different. We know we are different, but belonging is part o four human nature. Thus we want to minimize or hide our differences. We have gifts, talents, unique abilities that we enjoy. We can pursue out genius for personal expression or share with others.

To display our genius means we are exposed to praise, ridicule, rejection, or indifference. We like and respond to the praise and recognition. We shout for joy. We beam. We strut our stuff. The challenge is with even one time of ridicule or rejection we can decide to hide. The fear of experiencing the ridicule or rejection again can become very strong even after the initial situation. As a result we experience self doubt. We will also utilize various masks – some for strength – some for hiding. It is easy to hide behind a mask, in a role that is accepted. You can do it well, fit in, be recognized and still minimize your genius or avoid expressing your genius.

Other reasons for not expressing your genius is not wanting to be taken advantage of; the display of your genius is considered to be a personal express for self only; not being appreciated; not taken seriously; not knowing how; and demands of life.

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR GENIUS?

A beginning place of what to do with your genius is to enjoy it yourself, practice, develop, explore, and play. Another consideration is do you want to have a private or public use of your genius. Keep in mind your genius will sneak in all kinds of places on a daily basis without a deliberate plan – because it is a core part of you. Another factor is contribution to your community, to others ---- considering your genius comes with a responsibility.

Do you want to display/utilize your gift vocationally or avocationally? What ways can you put your various talent, preferences together to contribute in the manner you desire? We can look at different patterns of your life, what you enjoy, what your genius/talents are and then look at occupational and industry patterns to create your vocation. You can tap into the same process for an avocation or pure personal pleasure.

A GENIUS AT WORK AND PLAY!

It is an act of genius to balance all the responsibilities and roles in life. It is also a balancing act to comfortably use, display your genius at work or in play.

Your genius at work as a developed specialty can let you pursue it to your hearts content basically alone or with at team. You can have a focus that does not require balancing lots of roles or interactions.

Your various talents can create the opportunity where you are juggling many activities, tasks, roles and /or interactions. You can benefit from the development of personal management skills – managing your time; setting priorities; setting (with awareness) your preferences (yes, asking what you Want to do is important too); and managing expectations (yours and others).

Being sure to play is key to your balancing act. It may be with strutting your stuff at work -- that you are playing at work.

Having a light hearted free expression – experience of your genius is also important. Knowing how to play with your genius benefits you in all your life roles; having that opportunity as the saying goes “to let your hair hang down”. Playing for playing’s sake alone – to feel free – like soaring – no constraints. (PS It is not frivolous).

We look at our roles and responsibilities – the tasks and time involved for each. Then decide what priorities we have for our roles and which ones we desire to develop. Next we figure out the changes to our time commitments and activities to make the shift happen to our desired roles. Balancing the work, the play and being our special genius self!

A GENIUS ON DISPLAY!

Celebrating your genius can be done in many ways, many forms and many places. Your home or your room is your special place or your own space. Make the space your very own - art, books, music, collections, clothing, furniture, décor – the materials of your genius. The space can be indoors or outdoors.

You can celebrate through your work, your connection in the community, in your play, the places you visit, the things you make, write, create – an expression of your heart.

You can celebrate through discovering, exploring, further experiencing of your desires and wishes. Taking others along for the journey is another way to celebrate. Making a difference or quietly knowing are a celebration. Strut your Stuff. Celebrate!

Strut Your Stuff! You Are a Genius!

2010-01-15T15:50:00.000-07:00

Play with Words…… Play with feelings…..

GENIUS – intelligent, intellect, smart, brainy, thinker, natural, brilliant, resourceful, talent, sage, savant, wise, knowledgeable, inventive, creative, sensible, logical, rational, skilled, trained, astute, brainiac, master, virtuoso, talent, bright, clever, scholarly

Then there are: smart aleck, too big for your britches, snooty, dense, ace, crackerjack, fool, clown, highbrow, egghead, show-off, wiseacre, know-it-all, hotshot, wise guy

Mixed messages – probably have happened over time. The mixed messages are ones you give yourself and that you receive from others. These messages, these words, create emotional responses – yeah, you react. The reactions are emotional and physical. You can feel on top of the world and comfortable. You can feel hurt and troubled. You can be pleased with the recognition and acknowledgement of your skills and abilities. You can want to hide, withdraw, and fit in. You get attention. You are avoided. You speak freely with enthusiasm. Your conversation is very tempered. You stand out and use your skills. You minimize your abilities. Or then there is the dynamic of being silly and you should be serious --- or is it lighten-up. The expectations and demands are made. Or you are ignored and not accepted. You can then question yourself, your value, your worth, your ability and become unsure. You strive to protect yourself – downplay your talents, your brilliance, or become arrogant.

Where is the balance? Where is the authentic you? Finding the right fit for you is an important part of showing your genius. Your world is not an ideal world. Your experiences will vary with time, place, people and you of the moment. Knowing your abilities, talents, gifts, desires, dreams is the starting point. Demonstrating and developing them, yes, that is a responsibility – to you – and to the world. Showing your genius is also a pleasure. Showing takes practice. Practice brings greater understanding, development, confidence, balance, and comfort. It is not a road without struggles or potholes. Any achievement has challenges and requires figuring out “how to” meet those challenges. And remember not to do it alone – that’s the village coming into the picture. Strut your stuff. You are a genius.

Strut Your Stuff! You are a Genius and Won't Show It (cont.)

2010-01-15T10:06:00.000-07:00

Hiding your genius or the fear of being different………..

Why do we NOT show our genius, abilities, talents, passions………?

Many times we are judging ourselves. We are our hardest critique. We say things like we are not good enough, no one is interested in our stuff, we can’t compare to _____, and so forth and so on. That is not the response we get from others as we strut are stuff. There is a sense of respect, at times a sense of awe (like our internal critique everyone else is amazing), a response of excitement and pride (for those close to you), a sense of acknowledgement, and so forth.

Yet there are other gremlins that may arise – jealousy, fear, rejection. Wanting to belong, be accepted is a strong human driving factor. Strutting your stuff – shows you are different (as everyone is – but that does not matter at this moment) – you are standing out – being outstanding. This will attract and dispel people to you. “Owie – is that not a blank wall I can blend into?” “Hey, I am something, really something!” As we are scared we develop ways to minimize that fear – create different masks to wear, different roles to play – to be safe and not hurt (or as much). We can avoid the strutting; we can strut with an outlandish attitude (as not to be approachable); we can strut with honesty and confidence (an ongoing growth process); or…….

So what masks have you designed? When do you wear them? What purpose do they serve? What is your desired face in each of those situations? You can begin to answer these questions for yourself in different ways – here are two – try them and see what you uncover.

Take a stack of the cheap paper plates. On the top side (where you place food) name the mask (or describe the situation you use that mask). Label 3-5 (more if you want to – no limit). Now turn the masks over and draw, color (paint, magic marker) the mask you wear by that name or in that situation (this is not an art demonstration – so just do it!) Arrange all the masks in front of you – color side up. Do you recognize the masks? What are you feeling? Are they serving their purpose? (Just ask the questions – you do not have to have the answers.) Now take one more paper plate. Write on it in big letters – ME. Now turn it over and draw/color the mask – the face. When complete place it in the center of all the masks. What is your response? Strut Your Stuff!!

Take a piece of paper for each mask you wear (3-5 minimally, no upper limit). Label the mask – name the mask at the top of the page. Divide the page into four columns labeled – Situations (when do you use this mask?) ; Purpose (what does it do for me?) ; Characteristics (how do you describe this mask?) ; Insight (what does this tell me about me?) . Now take one more piece of paper and title it ME. Columns – Situations (how can I see myself strutting me?); Purpose (what does it do for me?); Characteristics (how do I and want to describe me?) ; Insight (what have I got going for me?).

Masks are part of our coping strategies. We need to be aware of them. Masks are used throughout the cultures of the world representing power, the unknown, strength. They are used in rituals and in entertainment. They allow us to take on and experience different characteristics. Recognize and be conscientious of how you use your masks. Use the masks to Strut Your Stuff – not to hide behind!!

Are You Special?

2010-01-02T20:00:00.000-07:00

Well are you breathing? That is the first test. You will notice I did not ask – do you know how to breathe – that is a discussion for another time. Since you are breathing, YES, you are special. I know that is a cliché – you are special, you are unique. However, it is true. There are no duplicates of you – not even identical twins. We are made up of our genes, experiences, and environments. That includes who we are, what we think, what we do, how we feel. Then we add our family and friends, teachers, acquaintances, others with whom we interact, meet, and connect with (both in person and cyberspace). Yet another part of the mix is where – where we born, where we live, where we have visited, country, state, city, neighborhood. All of this contributes to who we are and that is a unique, one of kind recipe with special results. Don’t forget timing as a factor.

Looking at the pieces under a microscope (introspection) is fun for some and considered useless by others. You can take this inner journey and explore. It lets you see your world. Who knows what you may discover. Some of the things others see and know and yet there is a mystery – that which only you know. Discovering you can give you answers and/or create more questions. You find your differences and your similarities – to family, friends, culture and being human. Like the magic of a snowflake you are special, unique, an individual.

There are expectations and roles that are part of your life experience. You make choices involving these expectations and roles. Sometimes your dreams and wishes (application of your special-ness) can be ignored, buried, discounted because of the expectations and roles. You can also be using what is very special about you to fulfill the expectations and roles. If you are not using your special-ness the inner journey can open the closed doors again. Then the potential for finding out how to include your dreams and wishes in everyday life can be a reality. Creating, growing, developing anything takes effort. However, your special-ness is who you are and what you can give. Find it, know it, and share it.

The Way I Think is Different.

2010-01-02T19:59:00.000-07:00

The way I think is different. No one understands.

My mind wanders – bouncing from one idea to another – one topic to another. I can see how many things can fit together that do not seem related. I can understand multiple perspectives and translate an idea so each person/entity can understand the idea from their perspective. I find some things very interesting and other things very boring. I need to take notes to stay focused, otherwise my mind wanders. I enjoy a challenge, a puzzle, a mystery, an adventure. I am game to try new things. I do not have to have the answers. I enjoy finding a spectrum of answers. I like to figure out things in the world. I like to figure out things in my mind.

I am aware of the different kinds of intelligences and learning styles. These help me to have a better understanding of different aspects of how my mind works. It still does not provide all the answers. Part of the key is each of us has a unique combination of the factors described. So, yes the way I think is unique just as I am. So I can describe that: I am strong in words. I can see things in graphs, maps, sequential. I learn by hearing, seeing, writing, and doing. Still the way the different facts, bits of information, experiences connect are unique to me.

I tried to explain how I was thinking. It did not compute with teachers or peers. At times it created a problem. Teachers thought I was being disruptive. They had a difficult time keeping me engaged. One solution was for me to start teaching math to the class in sixth grade. In high school I took the advanced classes – the challenge changing schools 3-4 times during high school – each time starting over with the teachers. With peers being accepted and rejected was a major issue. Not fitting in with my classmates – too smart, military dependent, too young, always new to the area. In college peer issues lessened – less issues around age and being “smart”.

At work the way I think is both an asset and a liability. As an asset – my interaction with my colleagues is a problem solver, a mentor, a leader. On the other hand, as a liability – always wanting to learn, new ideas and suggestions, frustration with clients and colleagues “not getting it”, and easily bored.

Part of the journey has been to learn to use this tool – my mind. Learn the different angles, cuts, processes, dynamics it has and how to apply them for the task at hand. Each attempt, each experiment, each trial, each experience brings new information and application. This journey expands my understanding of my uniqueness, my potential, my talents and gifts. Yes I understand better how I am special. Learning my mind has broadened my understanding of other’s minds and how they work. It has developed tools for better understanding and growing potential for me and others. A map has been created with many roads/paths from the various starting points to the destinations of choice.

Come take a journey – an adventure ----- understand your uniqueness in the way you think --- your potential and grow the potential.

Strut Your Stuff! You are a Genius and won't show It!

2009-12-13T09:16:00.000-07:00

Our society – and even though I have spent time in other countries – I refer to the American culture- has specific definition of intelligence and genius. Genius is accepted in the math and sciences. Music and art is accepted with significant excelling. This is on a large scale and with prominence. However, what happens to those that think differently, process differently and at a critical time – their K-12 years. The school districts require no child left behind – teach to the average or lower students. Yes, there are gifted programs. Many programs the purpose is to stimulate the young people. Some is to “control”. My experience is that the staff, resources, time is not available to find the different kinds of genius and develop them. Many of the youth think differently. There are times when the youth get labeled as behavior problems, disruptor's of the classroom, inability to follow directions, unable to fit into the classroom, unwilling to do the assignments and then are ignored or separated from the class. The youth can decide to “fit in” and not make waves to the point of not doing their best. However, there are crusaders for those that are recognized as gifted and things do happen for them. Those that miss being recognized blend in or blend out – sometimes all the way out – out of school.

The most perilous experiences are with the peers as this is a time of intense peer pressure – trying to be different, an individual and yet keeping up the trends. The desire to have friends and special friends is a key part of a teenager’s life. And yes there are those that proceed with their academic excellence with home and other support and are doing fine. Or if they are doing well in sports or the social atmosphere of the school they can do very fine. This doing fine may be overall or on the outside only. Each youth learns their own coping skills for survival within the classroom and with peers. Withdrawing the display of their genius can be a common response. Rising to an occasion, getting appointed and then not performing – disappearing.

Proceeding on with college: There are a greater variety of people to interact with. Finding like minds is a greater possibility. The habit patterns developed so far will still be with the young person. So the story of excelling may continue. The story of getting by and not doing their best may stay in place. Fitting in with peers will come and go. Doing the acceptable, expected thing may continue to take top priority. Another form of rebellion may be the calling card. Oh, yes and then on with the world of work – the stories can repeat themselves.

Experience is a great teacher and a moderator also. A style is developed for your expression. You strut your stuff – confidently or tentatively. Or with confidence and then without the results you see that can be beneficial – the ideas are rejected – a couple of paths – fight, be persistent with achievement results or choose after a degree of persistence and fight to withdraw – the energy required is not satisfactory for the return. Oh yeah! You can strut your stuff and stand out – then the experience of rejection, ridicule, denial of value, or it will work for you but no one else surfaces. Does it not become easier to withdraw and do your best in your independent setting and not demonstrate or teach the ideas, knowledge, or know how.

Yet, you are asked questions by others, you are recognized that you have a tool, an idea, a method, a presentation (visual – music – movement) that has beauty, utility, makes a difference. Habits spring up and you withdraw not wanting to risk, not wanting to stand out, not wanting to make waves. And yet you know as well as the feed back you are getting is that your genius is needed, it will make a different. Share your genius with your immediate world – with the world in general. A little drop of water on the ponds surface has major ripple effects. Strut your stuff – show your genius.

Strut Your Stuff: You are a Genius and don't know it: continued

2009-12-11T18:24:00.000-07:00

The first thing we think about when we see the word Genius – is oh I am not as intelligent as those people – I could not be a member of Mensa. However, anything that is a talent; a gift; a different way of thinking, seeing things, understanding thing; an activity you are good at or are highly curious about – is (okay less stressful – can be) YOUR Genius.

Always feeling like you cannot explain to others how you can figure things out, draw pictures, make music, dance around, see the world (in a very unique way) – that’s because the resource bank in your brain is wired differently. The potential lies with each and every one of us. Sometimes we experience an ah ha, a curiosity, an event/experience, that tickles us pink (a moment of joy – ready to jump up and down). This is YOUR Genius.

Things you love are; obsessive about; excel in; come easy to you; draw you like a magnet – This is YOUR Genius.

Oh! NO- I don’t have a genius and no way am I a genius - I just doodle. Doodling is a form of art – Scarabochhio (Italian for doodling) – an entire gallery and instruction studio for doodling in Stevens Point, WI. So you see whatever that special something is (that only you know about?) is YOUR Genius.

That playful activity you did so much, as a youngster. Now you look back at it and smile or you buried it because “responsible adults” don’t do that or have time for such frivolousness. That playful activity that made you sing out loud or at least in your head, this is YOUR Genius. (Loving to watch is another clue)

Recognize YOUR Genius. Play with YOUR Genius. Be YOUR Genius. Strut YOUR Genius!!

2009-11-27T11:21:00.000-07:00

Disconnect

I started the draft of this post with traveling through what has been my experiences and gaining greater awareness of where the disconnect feeling comes from. Multiple experiences of disconnect – military dependent life of frequent move; being advanced throughout the school years resulting in peer rejection; being the oldest of seven; difficulty with being accepted by peers at work ( my perspective and thus my withdrawal); frustrations in work settings and easily moving on to new options; marriage with an experience of disconnect; developing disconnects from family “responsibilities” thus affecting relationships; to name a few.

So questions that go through my mind are: Why do I feel disconnected? Why do I set up and
maintain disconnection? What do I gain and loose from being disconnected?

The disconnect feeling comes from feeling different, not being understood, not fitting in. Duhhhhh so what’s new? That is a common experience. The feeling different has to do with the way my mind works, how I see things, how I put information together. It is frustrating with others not getting it. I quickly realize and acknowledge my mind works differently and need to be open to how others’ minds work as part of the experience.

The disconnect comes from fear – fear of being rejected and not belonging. Being alone is done with ease – not easily. Experiences repeated as I get excited and share something I am exuberant about – people respond alright – they become quiet, start up side conversations, at times laugh, but further conversation is limited. And yes I do become highly excitable like a child. I want to jump and run and shout. Okay that might scare some people. So instead I am quiet, withdrawn, and carefully join in the chit chat. Or I fear monopolizing the conversation and others time. Yes, at times they are willing to listen and then I become self-conscious and I am out of line being the center of attention and not including others or responding to their needs.

Even with disconnect I can share personal feelings and experiences. I can do this with feeling but without the invested connection. Thus I can participate in the connection of relationships with a safety disconnect in place. Investing further in a connection with out the safety mechanism leaves me more vulnerable. I do feel. I have strong feelings and to maintain on a day in and day out basis they need to be kept safely put away. I recognize my highs and lows. I recognize my attraction to friends. I do not want to interfere with their other connections. The withholding creates a dam and thus I am careful when I do begin to share with a listening audience, because it can become a flood.

Being a lone is not a problem. I have lots of ideas, projects, activities to do, explore, connect with. I like doing a variety of things. I like to do new things. If I have done it once I am ready to move onto something else. This also is a part of the disconnect – not wanting to do the same thing repeatedly creates a difficulty in connecting with others. I enjoy being productive (my perspective), accomplishing things (even little ones – keeping my hands busy), yet I enjoy doing things at my own pace and leaving something and coming back to it. Yes my home is my castle in the sense of a safe place and comfort.

I acknowledge my connections. I support my connections. I do such with safety for myself and in ways as not to interfere with others and their connections. Then comes the question of inputting the necessary energy to develop and maintain relationships – especially new ones. Value on return comes into question and the fear again of rejection or no return. Thus, the ease and comfort of being alone.

Question then arises – what do I want relative to connections? As with anything, what am I willing to invest for a return? What am I willing to risk for a return? What am I willing to change? What action am I willing to take? What effort am I willing to put forth? The result – connection, another experience of the joys of life (and the frustrations) are part of the discovery – of life’s journey and me. So the questions and the wide eyed experiences continue!

Strut Your Stuff!!!

2009-11-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

Strut Your Stuff.
You're a GENIUS and don't know it!

You have heard the saying more than once -- you are a unique individual. "oh, yeah, no doubt about it. I am different." We spend lots of time and effort to blend in or at least not stand out. We may or may not know what makes us different. Being unique and different is genius - genuine.

That difference has many facets. Yes like the cliche goes - a diamond in the rough or is it a lump of coal? (PS Both are of great value, millions) Knowing which the diamond or the coal, let's us know how to strut our stuff!

So how do you figure out the difference? Beyond just being weird or sticking out, how do you identify your genius and its utility? How do you let yourself and everyone else know your value in millions?

You can start with digging. After all, we are looking for diamonds and/or coal. Yes, you might get a little dirty (you will not like or be able to use everything you dig up). You are goint to have to work at it. It is not on the surface. You may find other treasures (useful items) while you are digging.

Shall we ------ To dig, it will work better, be more fun, if we use some tools (a shovel, a backhoe, a pick, a bulldozer, etc. ). Try these tools on for size.

1. Write as many of the funniest things you have done, experienced, saw. Those things that you laughed and laughed about; those that were so funnily embarrassing; those things that were so much fun. Now you need to write down 3 to 99. Only take about 7 1/2 minutes. You can add to the list at any time, later.

2. Take a piece of paper, draw a big circle that fills the piece of paper. Now be quiet for a moment - that means the mind too, cut the chatter. Ask the question, What is my genius? Now without any thinking begin drawing within the circle - lines, circles, designs, pictures, what ever you see while the mind is quiet. Then color it - lots of color.

3. Now for the next 2 minutes write as many words that describes you - you have thought/said about yourself; others have said, shouted, whispered about you; that you would like to describe you. Write fast now, no screening in or out, write, write, write.

So did you dig deep enough to find any coal or diamonds? Probably not. Maybe we just removed a couple of shovels of dirt. However, did you uncover something you can use? Did you find a rock or a stick you can use as a brace to be able to dig deeper? Did you find something that sparkles, that gives you idea what you might find if you dig deeper? What kind of pattern began to appear? What does the pattern tell you on how to proceed? The digging has just begun. We are going to need some additional tools to be safe and to push on with the discovery of our millions.

Jin Shin Fingerholds

2009-11-14T13:05:00.000-07:00

Jin Shin Fingerholds

Are you looking for some relief???? From stress, frustration, pain or ………….??????

Let me describe a Jin Shin method to remove tensions and help with better well being.

Jin Shin is: a body energy balancing art. It’s based on energy as the primary life force. It involves placing the fingertips on points on the body to keep the body’s natural energy flow open and circulating. The theory is that everyday tension and stress can block and disrupt that energy flow, putting the body out of balance and eventually causing illness. By reconnecting the energy locks, or points along the energy pathways, the flow or well-being of the body is restored. It’s not a cure all but more of a wellness mode. It doesn’t heal, but puts your energy flow in balance so your body can do the healing.

The basic fingerholds involve: a self administration of jump starting the energy flows through the fingers. Gently hold your right thumb –hold it in any position. “Listen” (wait for a feeling) for a tingling, a warmth, pulse (like a blood pulse, heart beat). A gentle rhythmic pulsation in the finger indicates that the energy flow has been restored. It can take 2-20 minutes for the pulsation to come. If you get impatient hold for at least two minutes and then go on to the next finger. The body knows how to complete the jump start. To complete the tune-up hold each finger on each hand.

The finger holds release specific attitudes and physical symptoms. The fingers open the energy pathways in the entire body. The thumb releases worry and stomach aches. A baby naturally sucks its thumb when worried. The index finger releases fear and muscle related problems like back aches. The index finger is used to point at others and create intimidation. The middle finger releases anger and eye and vision problems. Ever hear the cliché “I’m so angry I can’t see straight”. The ring finger releases sadness, grief, and breathing problems. The ring finger with a ring – a circle of love – overcomes sadness; so much in love you hold your breath. The little finger releases pretense and nerve problems. It is the little finger the heart system flows through – holding the little fingers can decrease the effects of heart problems. Hold each finger on each hand to balance out emotions and actions, caring and thinking, balance of opposites.

An exercise just like walking or stretching to reduce stress, bring balance. The finger holds can easily be done every day – morning to energize, night time to relax for sleep. The finger holds can be done at the stop light or when you are at the doctor’s office waiting so by the time you see the doctor the symptoms has diminished. Take the time and take another step toward health and well being.

Hey, do you know Merlin?

2009-11-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

Hey, do you know Merlin?
Or is Yoda, Q, or Dumbledorf more familiar?

Merlin is my hero - my mentor. Merlin is a scientist - observing nature; is a teacher - sharing his observations; is a magician - creating mystery.

Merlin stimulates imagination and playfulness in discovery of the world around us and within. We learn about what we can see, touch, hear, taste, smell and feel. We also experience the unexplainable, the unknown. We try thing on for size. We get dirty. We make a mess. We find treasures. We fall on our butt. We get hurt. We sit and pout. We give up. We cry. We get mad. We fight. We help. We get up. We take tiny steps. We ride fast on the bicycle. We swing as high as the swing will go. We laugh. We sing. We mix the known and the unknown. and we discover the magic.

Another Encounter with Merlin

Merlin is a Druid. He gathers knowledge through observing, listening, and trying things. He searches for answers to the question Why? He analyzes problems to discover solutions - the how to.

Merlin has a child like wonder of the world. He sees each moment as an opportunity to discover something new. He contemplates on the meaning of life and in life. He enjoys the patterns and beauty around him. He recognizes the ugliness and the pain. He experience reality and the mystery. He knows values, beliefs and fears. He doe not have to have all the answers, be he knows where and how to find them. Merlin is a magician.

Beginning this journey

2009-10-19T20:22:00.000-06:00

Technology is a wonderful tool for making lots of things happening. This blog will be about the tools for "How To" in Life's Adjustment for Wellness. Keep an eye on the information to come.